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A Tale of Two Santas

Shut up and get to the point! And then the battle’s not so bad? Good man. Nixon’s pro-war and pro-family. Tell her she looks thin. Meh. Wow, you got that off the Internet? In my day, the Internet was only used to download pornography.

A Clone of My Own

Okay, it’s 500 dollars, you have no choice of carrier, the battery can’t hold the charge and the reception isn’t very… What’s with you kids? Every other day it’s food, food, food. Alright, I’ll get you some stupid food. Bender, you risked your life to save me! Dr. Zoidberg, that doesn’t make sense. But, okay!

  • Isn’t it true that you have been paid for your testimony?
  • I barely knew Philip, but as a clergyman I have no problem telling his most intimate friends all about him.

Roswell That Ends Well

Shinier than yours, meatbag. I never loved you. Well, then good news! It’s a suppository. You wouldn’t. Ask anyway! I videotape every customer that comes in here, so that I may blackmail them later. I didn’t ask for a completely reasonable excuse! I asked you to get busy!

That’s Lobstertainment

Guess again. Please, Don-Bot… look into your hard drive, and open your mercy file! Is today’s hectic lifestyle making you tense and impatient? Leela’s gonna kill me.

  1. Wow, you got that off the Internet? In my day, the Internet was only used to download pornography.
  2. Nay, I respect and admire Harold Zoid too much to beat him to death with his own Oscar.
  3. Who are you, my warranty?!
The Farnsworth Parabox

You’re going back for the Countess, aren’t you? Who are you, my warranty?! Fetal stemcells, aren’t those controversial? Check it out, y’all. Everyone who was invited is here.

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